Trek of a Lifetime

Thirty-two Days on the Road

Video Recap

Lessons learned:

• Sleeping in a car is fine.
• Farting in the car you sleep in isn't so fine.
• Keep track of your keys and phone at all times. A small car becomes a mezzanine when filled with stuff. Check sleeping bag first.
• Most people don't protect their outdoor faucets - free refills.
• Wet clothes don't dry in a car.
• Wiki Camps is amazing. My trip wouldn't be half as cool without it.
• Sandflies suck
• Bring a skimboard to NZ. Every beach is super flat and perfect for it.
• Flip flops are great hiking shoes
• Driving a few hours in a day is nothing when you have nowhere to be.
• Many holiday parks don't monitor their showers - free showers

A quick disclaimer for this post: There's a lot of content in this one, as I wrote it semi journal style, with an entry for each day. Some detail could get tedious, but I wrote it with the intention of it becoming a nice record for me to come back and read in 20 or 30 years when I feel the need to re-live the glory days.
And yes, these are in fact the glory days, I have no doubt. Roaming a beautiful foreign country, living in a car, no schedule, responsible to no one...glorious.

To future Travis, whatever you're doing now better be damn well worth giving up the opportunity to keep doing this. She better be pretty great, the rugby better be awesome, or those video games better have UNREAL graphics...




Day 1

I set off from the Holder residence at approximately 7:45, with the goal of reaching Punikaiki by 11:30 in time for the high tide. The 3-hour drive was very pleasant, and was made even better by my stop at the Wakefield Bakery on the way out of town - mince/cheese pie AND a donut.
I'm on vacation, sue me.

I arrived at Pancake Rocks right on time, and caught quite a show. This attraction is called "Pancake Rocks" beacause of the way the layers of rock are stacked together like pancakes - whoever named them has a delicious wit.

The way the water has eroded the cliffside here, there are caverns and tunnels that lead into inland pools and vents, making for some pretty spectacular displays when the waves break through them.
The vents are called the "Blow Holes" and make a loud whooshing noise as the tide forces a considerable amount of pressure up into the tunnels.

After visiting the Pancake Rocks, I spoke with the guide at the information center and learned of a cool trail to go and hike.

I had about 4 hours to kill before sunset, so I took her suggestion and went for a nice 3 hour hike through some really cool wilderness and cliff faces.

Upon returning from my little 8 mile trek, I booked into a campsite and set up all my gear for the first time. Everything went up like a dream, the stove worked, and dinner was great.

After finishing dinner, I found myself sitting on a rock, watching the sun set out over the ocean.

I am solo on this trip, which was always the intention, and I'm loving it.
Just me, myself, and I, going wherever we decide.

However, it didn't strike me until a couple strolled past, that I was sitting on the beach alone, with nobody to share this experience with.
It made me think of times in the past where I've shared similar moments or adventures with friends and loved ones, and how nice it was to have someone there.
I'm going to be doing some pretty incredible things over the next few weeks, and the closest I'll get to sharing it with anyone is via this blog and whatever videos I make out of my GoPro footage.

Blogs and footage are great, but there's some sort of validation in having someone else there.
It wasn't a debilitating loneliness or anything like that, it was more of a plain realization - I'm alone in this.
I think it just would have been nice to put my arm around someone at that moment, that's all.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. I could stop writing this blog, turn off the camera, and never tell anyone what I did on this trip, and no one would be the wiser.
It would be my secret, 30 days of my life that no one knew about.
Of course, I won't do that.
I'm too much of a narcissist.

But I may keep one day completely to myself. It could be an easy, small day not really worth mentioning, or it could be the most insane 24 hours of my life.
Who knows?

I think I'm doing it right though.

This may be the only period in my life where I get to be as selfish as possible, and I need to make full use of it.




Day 2

Woke up nice and late around 10am, packed up and took off. On my way out of town I hit the Pancake Rock cafe and had - you guessed it - pancakes for breakfast.
The weather was once again gorgeous, and the views were stunning.

On my way south I stopped in Greymouth to get some groceries, because I neglected to do so before I started my journey. I filled up my cooler with the basic essentials - milk and meat.
I got other stuff too, like things that aren't milk and meat, but they didn't go in the cooler. Like cereal. And bread.

After stocking up on grub and fuel, I hit the road again and headed for the Hokitika Gorge.
Roughly 20 minutes off the main road, there's a nice little gorge carved out by a river, complete with a swing bridge - suspension bridge.

If it were summer, I'd have been doing backflips off that bridge nonstop. But it's winter and that water is ICE cold. Quite literally.

During my return to the highway, I saw a snow-topped mountain in the not-so-far-distance, and wondered how close I could get to it.

An hour later I had gone in a huge circle around the mountain, using roads my GPS had no clue about - and maybe a farm or two - twisting and turning through dirt roads and over rickety bridges, with no real destination.
Once I had considered my mission a success, I decided to get back on the grid and give my GPS a break - the poor thing was so confused.

After the gorge and my little meander around the mountain, it was time to find a spot to camp for the night. I pulled up my app, Wiki Camps, and spotted a free site not too far from me. It's not technically a camping ground, more of a road that leads to a beach that DOESN'T say "No Camping" soooo...I parked on the beach and camped there.

Since I was on the beach, and beaches are sandy, I slept in the car to avoid spreading sand all over every single one of my possessions.

As this was my first night in the car, it took some figuring out how to arrange my junk into a way that was suitable for me to sleep comfortably.
Eventually a balance was struck, and I now have a nice little plan for each time I end up sleeping in the car.
The great thing about driving a station wagon is that when I lay down in the back, my legs can stretch out COMPLETELY, with my toes just touching the back hatch if I stretch them.

Perfect fit.


Day 3

Record not found.

Alliteration for days though!




Day 4

This day was spent hiking a bunch. I hiked to two different glaciers, one of which was used in Lord of the Rings filming - unfortunately my cameras couldn't accurately capture them.

The first was Franz Josef glacier - used in LOTR - the second was Fox glacier, and both were quite cool. Both sites prevent you from getting very close to the actual glaciers because tourists have died in the past due to ice falling on them or whatever - typical government BS denying Mother Nature her rightful place to snuff the life out of some unsuspecting bastard.

They even have reproduced newspaper clippings of the incidents to prove to you that Ranger McFriendly really does need you to stay on this side of the barrier for your own safety.


Apparently the glaciers used to be a lot closer, - republicans look away - but due to their hastened retreat they have receded into unstable portions of the mountain that cannot sustain a footpath.
I believe the closest I got was 450 meters away from the actual glacier - just 8 years ago, it was 20 meters away.

As you walk into the valley you are surrounded by sheer mountain faces littered with scattered waterfalls, like some prehistoric gateway to another world - it's quite epic.
Plus, a South American chick catcalled at me when I walked by, so, yeah.
That's cool.

On my return hike from the second glacier, a German guy came running up trying to get my attention and waving something around in his hand.
My first thought was maybe he was a hitchhiker needing a ride.
My second thought was, "Shit, why couldn't it be a German GIRL needing a ride? Come on, Universe."

As I started to turn back around and keep walking, I realized what was in his hand: my GoPro!

I had carelessly put it in my pocket when I stopped to retrieve a snack from my bag, and it had obviously slipped out when I resumed walking.

After thanking him profusely, I continued my hike and he joined me for the rest of the way back.
We discussed where we were from, the different places we had visited, and why we had chosen New Zealand.
When I told him I came here to play rugby, he mistook my meaning and thought I was a professional player, and I didn't correct him - couldn't help myself.
He said he'd watch next season and look for me on the TV.
He's gonna have a tough time spotting me...

After the glaciers I went and walked a track around Lake Matheson and then drove to Gillespie's Beach to stay the night. The sunset at Gillespie's Beach was pretty fantastic, with massive waves crashing onto the beach as the sun sunk down behind them.

Day 5

Upon waking and completing my morning run, I packed up the car and took off for the next stop on my route: Wanaka.

The drive from Fox Glacier to Wanaka is pretty incredible, most impressive being Haast Pass (I Haast to Pass Gas!) and the snow-covered peaks lining the horizon.


Within an hour's time I had gone from a beach, to a glacier, back out to the ocean, past a lake, and then into the middle of towering snow-capped mountains.
New Zealand is like a more compact California with a more wild and rugged natural landscape - it's incredible.

I think I stopped off at three different waterfalls on my drive, and three lookout points that looked cool.
I basically stop at any point I feel like - I have no schedule and no place to be, so what's the rush?

Unfortunately all the cool mountains and waterfalls are a bit farther off, and since GoPros aren't meant for long range and my phone is crap, my photos are a bit lacking.
However, it's probably a good thing I don't have a high quality camera with me, because I'd spend all my time lining up the perfect shot and I'd never get anywhere.

Plus, if you could actually see how stunningly beautiful this country is, you'd quickly stop reading this blog, as it would make you feel too dissatisfied with your own surroundings/life, and that just wouldn't be fair to you.

Per usual, as the day draws to an end, I pull out my app and find a nice, cheap $7 campground within a reasonable range, and make my way there.

Now that I'm settled into my camping spot for the night, it's time for me to turn off the Taylor Swift, shut the laptop, and hit the hay.


Who knows what tomorrow could bring...

If the weather is nice enough, I might go skydiving.




Day 6

I didn't go skydiving. The weather sucked, so I packed up my stuff and headed for the next stop: Arrowtown.

Arrowtown is a nice little spot, not far from Queenstown. There is a busy little main street, a river and some nice walking tracks to do.

I had one objective in Arrowtown: Lord of the Rings.
Two scenes were filmed along the river here, so I went and found them, reveled in their glory, and took pictures.

Scene One: When the Ringwraiths chased Arwen into the river outside Rivendel, the part where they walk down into the water was filmed in Arrowtown.
I walked up the path a ways, then swapped my shoes for flip flops, and waded into the ice-cold water to get to the exact spot I wanted.
In the middle of winter, in a river of pure snow run-off.
That's right, I'm a nerd.

The part where the river actually swallows the black riders was filmed higher up the river, where only 4x4 vehicles can go - I tried and had to turn back.

Scene Two: The scene where Isildur is slain by orcs and loses the ring in the river was also filmed outside of Arrowtown.
The road in the scene is actually a bike track below a nice little soccer field. It's pretty cool to see the two worlds collide in one place.

After I visited both scenes, it started raining so I ducked into a little cafe, grabbed a hot chocolate, and hit the road.

The rain was the first part of a pretty big storm that was supposed to bring quite a bit of snow, so I had to get over the pass to Queenstown before it closed down due to snowfall (Good call, Ant).

On my way into Queenstown, I stopped at another LOTR film location.
The river Anduin, which the Fellowship paddles down before getting separated, is actually a river a few minutes outside of Queenstown. I went to one of the exact spots they filmed from, using GPS coordinates, and took some pics. It was rather exciting.

After all my nerding out, it was time to find a campground before the night set in, especially since it was about to snow hard. I found a nice little $10 campground 10km out of town, and hunkered down for a cold night as the first snowflakes started landing on my windshield.
I went to sleep next to a mountain lake named Moke Lake, in a valley surrounded by high peaks and brown hillsides.


Day 7

I woke up to a world covered in white.
The mountains, hillsides, trees, bushes, ground, and my windshield were all dusted in a light layer of snow.

It was gorgeous.

While it was freezing outside, I was quite cozy in my sleeping bag in the car. I fully expected to curse myself for not staying in a hostel that night, but I actually did just fine - probably the result of my hot Norwegian Viking blood.

After my morning run around the lake, I packed up and headed into Queenstown for my next adventure:

Bungy jumping!!

I went to the AJ Hacket Bungy Center, on the historic Warahau Bridge. AJ Hackett claims to be the first commercial bungy site in the world, and to have started the bungy jumping phenomenon in the '80s. The Warahau Bridge overlooks the very same river used in LOTR that I visited the day before. So yeah,
I bungy jumped over the River Anduin.


After paying an exorbitant amount of money, you walk up to the bridge, get rigged up by the crew, and step up to the edge.
While getting me all strapped in, the guys told me I was just within the weight range to touch the river if I wanted, and that they could extend the rope all the way out in hopes of doing so.
They told me that if I wanted to touch the water, I shouldn't jump out too far, or I'd miss out on the extra inertia and not make it to the bottom.
I told them to go for it.
Hogs Wet and Wild.

I hopped up to the edge - my feet were tied - and waved goodbye to the camera.

3   2    1

A small hop.
Arms spread wide.
Then..

Freefall

So cool!

The river and rocks below are rushing up toward me.

"It'll catch me, I'm fine. Relax, this is awesome!"

The river and rocks below keep coming at an alarming rate.

"Uhh...any day now bungy cord.."

River and rocks are quite close now.

HOLY SHIT IS THIS THING GONNA CATCH ME!?!?!!?

Then, sure enough, the cord starts pulling tight and slowing me down.
I stretch out as far as I can to try and touch the water and...

No water.

I missed it by about a yard/meter.

 Not heavy enough. Not enough time in the weight room.
As you can see from the pictures, I was clearly devastated.

The jump itself was one hell of an adrenaline rush. The freefall is pretty amazing, and then the bounce back up is pretty wild too.
Falling 43 meters set a new personal record for how high I've fallen/jumped off anything. The previous record was China Wall at Lake Natoma - 72 feet?

When they pulled me off the rope at the bottom, I was still in an adrenaline rush and probably wasn't too helpful in taking the gear off.
I was too preoccupied, thinking, "HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME!"

As you walk back up to the deck from your jump, there's a sign on the door telling you that your 2nd jump is at a special price... this almost gets me to bite.

However, the pictures and video were very well done, and I had no choice but to shell out another wad of cash to make them mine.

Twenty minutes later, sitting in the car still smiling, I was still so amped up I couldn't stop shaking with excitement.

My experience in a word:

Holyshit!



After the bungy jump, I went to a nearby town called Glenorchy, in search of a couple more Lord of the Rings film sites.
I drove 25km up a dirt road, forded 6 streams - way to go little Subaru! - and finally made it to the GPS coordinates I designated.



Scene 1: When Gandalf rides into Isengard for the first time, he is on a brown patch of grass with trees behind him, and a mountain in the background. I was there.

Scene 2: The entrance to Lothlorien.
Another few kilometers up the road, through some forestry and another stream, I found the edge of the Lothlorien forest, home of Galadriel and Haldir. I was there.

Scene 3: Part of the Fangorn forest was filmed further up the road, so I of course continued - on foot for the last bit - to get a shot of Fangorn.
Ents definitely live there.

Day 8

I awoke to a perfectly blue sky, held up by towering snowy mountain peaks, without a cloud to be seen.

This perfect weather only meant one thing to me.

Skydiving


I'd already jumped off a bridge. It was time to jump out of a plane.

I think the video speaks for itself.

It couldn't have been on a better day, with perfect blue skies, fresh snow on the mountains, incredible visibility...

Because I'm a vain individual and wanted to have footage of myself once, I opted for the video package that had another guy jump with us to record my dive from a 3rd person view ($$$).

Worth it.

The ride up takes about 15 minutes and is incredibly scenic.
The mountains are huge and jagged, the sky crystal blue, the landscape vibrant green.

You can tell the guides are trained to defuse any potential panic from the clients, as they check up on you every minute or two, point at the scenery, say something cliche, tell you're they're scared of heights, etc.

I wasn't nervous in the slightest bit, not until the very moment the door opened up and I was the first one to jump out.

Woah.

Then, with a camera in my face, I screamed "Hogs Wild!" in my mind, and rolled out the door.

One word:

Exhilirating


I was in freefall for roughly 60 seconds, falling to the ground at 120mph, experiencing sensory overload at its finest, and loving every second of it.

Spinning, playing with my arms to adjust the flight, finding the camera every now and then, kicking my instructor in the crotch...

Wow.

As we kept falling, all I could think about was how badly I didn't want it to end. To make every survival instinct in your body go crazy while you're plummeting towards the earth at breakneck speeds... - my heart is racing just writing about it.

I fully expected to freak out when I jumped out of the plane - at least for the first moment or so.
As soon as my feet left the plane, my only thought was, "COOOOOOOLL !!"

The funny thing is, the bungy jump gave me more of a fright than the skydive did.
This is probably due to the fact that when you're 15,000 feet in the air, the ground is so far away it's hard to be scared of it.

I tried to scream out of excitement, but the wind in my face made that impossible.
I could feel the wind rippling my face, pulling on my beard, whipping at my clothes, seeming to press me up and away from the earth.

For a brief moment I lost myself, taking in the scenery, not paying attention and forgetting where I was.
Then I looked down and remembered rather quickly.

WOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!

After we deployed the parachute and steadied ourselves, I got to steer for a while, and did some super tight spirals which made me dizzy, so I balanced it out by doing the same tight turn the other way - more dizziness.
The parachute ride lasted about 5 minutes, and before I knew it, we were skimming along the grass and sliding to a halt.

After a few high fives and some "CHAKA BRAHS" I immediately felt the need to chase my high and do it all again, and started contemplating how much money I had left in my bank account.

If skydiving weren't so damn expensive, I'd keep doing it over and over. But it is expensive, so I only did it the one time.


I'm not an adrenaline junkie, not yet, but after that dive and my bungy jump, I might be on the path to becoming one.
This is definitely something I plan to do again, many more times in fact.

After my jump I went and hit the FergBurger, a crowded burger joint in town famous for its burgers. As an American judging burgers, I must admit it was quite good.

I had a tough time sleeping that night, as the adrenaline left me with the jitters, comparable to those after a rugby game, and I kept dreaming of the next time I'd be falling out of the sky over snow-clad mountains and perfectly green landscape.


Day 9

This was my day of rest. I woke up nice and early, did my exercise, packed up, and hit the road. My morning run took me past the spot where Sam and Frodo spot the Oliphants.

See ya later, Queenstown, until next time - you better believe there will be a next time.
My next destination was Milford Sound, which my GPS said would be a 3.5 hour drive, so I settled in and readied for the drive...and then I yawned.

Well, we just can't have that now, can we?

I stopped at a cafe to get a hot chocolate and read some Richie McCaw to try and wake up, but I couldn't shake the sleepiness.
Maybe it was a result of coming down from the adrenaline highs of the past two days? Whatever it was, it wasn't going away.
After another 45 minutes of driving, I decided there was nothing left to do but man up and confront this laziness head on.

Nap time.

I pulled over into a small little parking lot in a wide open plain surrounded by snowy mountains, crawled in the back of my station wagon, and had a sleep.

I don't know how long I slept - it's hard enough remembering what day it is on this trip, let alone the time - but when I awoke, I felt great.

After making a sandwich I hopped back in the driver's seat and took off, determined to reach my destination before nightfall.

A few hours later here I am at a deserted campground, lying in a sleeping bag writing up the details of my lazy day, and boy... I'm beat!

I didn't even make it to Milford Sound.
Tough Day.

Goodnight.




Day 10

After packing up and hitting the road, I stopped at a nice little waterfall en route to Milford Sound, called The Chasm.

Anything named "The Chasm" deserves a stop, regardless of what it is - the name alone demands it.
A quick visit to the waterfall was all I needed, then I was right back in the car and headed for Milford.

During the drive, there were multiple signs telling me I was in avalanche country and that I was not allowed to stop on the side of the road.

I found this quite exciting and kept hoping I'd see a nearby mountain shed its blanket of snow in favor of the sunshine, and cover the valley floor in white.
To my disappointment, there were no avalanches or any other natural disasters to enjoy - I would have settled for a landslide as well.

I reached Milford Sound quite quickly, and while the bay was beautiful, upon finding out the only real activity to do there was a $70 boat ride, I decided to leave.

It was a short visit. Still worth it.
Everything is worth it, that's the whole point of this trip.

On my return trip from Milford, I stopped and did the Key Summit walk, which is a branch of the Routeburn track. It was pretttyyy much an hour of constant uphill,
but the view at the end was pretty good, prettttaaayyyy pretttaayyyy good.

I made my way to Te Anau, and upon arriving, I received my first cell phone signal in two days, which is cool I guess - I'm just so popular here, it's nice having a relief from my phone ringing off the hook all the time..
Is the sarcasm oozing through your screen yet?


I decided to stay in a $20 holiday park in town so I could use their shower and laundry facilities. Considering I've been paying $6 most nights, this is a big expense. But also considering I hadn't had a shower in 9 days and I was running dangerously low on clean clothes, it was time to bite the bullet and drop the extra cash.


Now that I'm clean and have clean clothes, it's time to call it a day and find the hay. The hay is in my car.


To set the record straight, I WAS bathing every day, just not in a shower. Diaper wipes did a fine job.


Day 11

With my morning exercises complete, I ate, showered again (yes!), and hit the road.

My next destination is Invercargill, the main city on the southern tip of the island.

Within 10 minutes of leaving, my Wiki Camps map shows me two nearby LOTR locations, so naturally I change course and head straight for them.

Scene 1: When Frodo, Sam, and Gollum are navigating the Dead Marshes, and Frodo makes the mistake of looking into the dead eyes of the bodies below the water.
I was there.


Scene 2: Another part of River Anduin, on which the Fellowship travels down before splitting up, shot on a completely different river. I was there (again).
There was a little rope tied to a tree that let me rappel down to the bank of the swift moving river and step my feet in.

Getting back up the steep hillside was quite a struggle, and would have been a perfect way for me to be another idiot traveler who got themselves stuck doing something stupid.
Whatever, I got back up eventually.

After getting back to the car and realizing how potentially stupid my actions of the last 30 minutes were, I resolved to make better decisions going forward.

Clifden Limestone Caverns

Not 30 minutes after my little adventure down the steep riverbank and the resolution to be smarter, I saw a sign for the Clifden Limestone Caverns and figured I couldn't pass this up - plus my app told me it was free.

It's free alright - it's a big hole in the ground with a sign telling you to bring an extra light, a buddy, and sturdy shoes.

Well, I had my headlamp and my phone would be my backup flashlight - all sorted there.
I don't have the option for a buddy, but let's not get too hung up on details.
Not sure what to expect, I chose to enter the caverns in the Kiwi hiking shoe of choice: Jandals (flip flops)
I didn't want to walk all the way back to the car (20 meters) and change. Too much work. Plus it might get wet down there.

So, with my headlamp, phone without reception, pajama pants, light windbreaker, and flip flops, I plunged headlong into the caverns.

Immediately, I realize this is a somewhat-hardcore cave, and is not the kind with stairs and nice paths and lights.
Twenty feet in, I have to get on all fours and crawl through a small crevice before standing up in a deeper cavern.

There are little reflector plates planted throughout the cavern at each turn, shaped into little arrows so you know where to go.
Without these little arrows, it would be absolutely impossible to find your way through this place, as they send you up, around, through, and under some pretty small spots and hidden passages that you never would have found. It's a limestone cavern carved out by water over thousands of years, there is no set path.

After a few twists and turns, the light from outside is completely gone and I'm left with only my headlamp and my phone as a backup.
I'm alone, in a limestone cave out in the middle of some farm in a rural area that people rarely come to, wearing flip flops.
I know, I'm pretty smart.

Too excited to turn back and make a better decision, but also aware of my apparent stupidity, I continued deeper into the cave.
The cave gets darker, and the water drops from the ceiling seem to be getting louder, making this whole experience rather eery.

Twenty minutes in, I start wondering how stable the walls and ceiling are.
Scenes from that 127 Hours movie start flashing through my head, making me a bit uneasy.

I was so spooked at one point, that when I ripped a loud fart I became instantly worried the reverberations of the blast would bring the tunnel to collapse on top of me.
Instead, the echoing fart in the lonely caverns brought me to uncontrollable laughter, and I immediately lost all fear.

I have no idea how those North American Barking Rabbits made it all the way down into a limestone cavern in New Zealand, but they sure made their presence known down there.

As I scramble through narrow passages and crawl under large overhangs, I see countless carvings on the walls left by those that had come through before me - initials, profanity, and the like.
This is comforting to me because if those idiots could get through here and be fine, then so could I.
I even saw a spraypainted name on the wall and thought, "Who would be such a douche to do that in such a cool place like this?" and then I realized I was staring at the name of the douchebag. AJ Makerel, you're a douche.
Then I started wondering how many high schoolers had had sex down here, when my hand touched a wet wall and.....ewwwwww.
Relax, all the walls are wet with water, this is still a functioning underground water passage.


There are few places where I can stand comfortably or walk on even ground, which adds to the sense of adventure for me.
There are stalagtites forming on the ceiling, small pools of water on the ground (thanks flip flops!) and a bunch of other stuff I don't know how to name.

After 45 minutes - maybe? - I am still crawling through these natural passages with no end in sight, expecting Gollum to jump out at me from behind every turn, wondering if the end is anywhere near.
The reflectors kept directing me further into the dark, so I followed. It really was quite thrilling.
It's a very similar feeling to hiking, when you see stacked rocks ahead.
(Stacked rocks!)

Another few minutes in, I hear the sound of rushing water further down in the abyss and wonder if I'm going to get to see an underwater river.
As I go forward and the sound grows louder, I skirt around a deep bowl in the ground filled with still water, roughly waist deep.

Turns out flip flops were a great choice.
Except for all the times I slid off rocks and stubbed my toes.
Eventually I came to a black hole where the sound of the water was clearly issuing from, and measured my chances of making it back up if I went down.
I decide it's 50/50, which aren't the best odds for someone alone with no hope of rescue.
I might have attempted it if I had a buddy, but getting stuck in a dark cavern by myself isn't on my New Zealand bucket list.
Sorry, underground river, I will not get to meet you. You sounded very cool though.
I turn around and see a ladder, which I take as a very welcome sight, as it is the first manmade structure I've seen in roughly an hour of darkness.
After climbing up, I wander through more cavern, and then feel a breeze on my face. The end must be close!
Sure enough, I find another ladder, navigate around a few more corners and BAM! there's sunlight.

I emerge feeling oddly victorious and slightly confused as to whom I was competing with, but accomplished nonetheless.
It never occurred to me to check my watch while I was down in the caverns, so I don't know exactly how long I was down there.
I'd guess it was close to an hour, but there's no telling for sure - our sense of time is severely hindered in the dark.

Upon reaching the car, I breathe a sigh of relief because the key is still in my pocket, and I plop into the driver's seat.

Yes, it was a bit stupid to go into a cave by myself and without telling anyone else what I was doing, and I think I have finally learned my lesson.
However, it was incredibly exciting to just pull off the road, hop a fence, and journey deep into a hillside without having a clue of what to expect.
To me, this little outing is the epitome of my trip. Seeing something cool and just doing it.
As I said before though, I'll be smarter next time. I'll tell someone where I'm going next time.


A few hours later, I'm sitting in my car on a deserted beach campsite called Monkey Island, all by myself, getting ready for some dinner and then bed.

Yes, I told someone where I was staying tonight.
See?
Learned my lesson.




Day 12

This day was intended to be spent at Stewart Island, the little island off the southern tip of the mainland.

I drove down through Invercargill and down to Bluff, where the ferry departs from.
Unfortunately, I arrived too late to catch the ONE ferry for the day,
so I scrapped that plan. It's a shame, because I've heard it's a very cool place. I'll have to make sure I hit it when I come back to NZ.
Oh well.

Instead, my day was spent driving through the Catlins, a national park on the southeastern corner of the island. It's absolutely gorgeous countryside, and I probably did close to 100 km on dirt roads getting to all the little nooks and crannies I wanted to see.


I went to the southernmost point on the entire island at Slope Point - or so a signpost told me -, visited a lighthouse, and made friends with some sea lions.

The sea lions are pretty hilarious when they hop-waddle around and bark at each other.

Next I stopped at Porpoise Bay in hopes of swimming with dolphins but apparently they only come out in the summer time - bummer. I was on the beach with all my snorkeling gear ready to roll, but then read the sign about their winter absence and decided against hopping in.
Apparently they are all over the place during the summer. Another item to come back to when I return.


I stopped at Mcleans Falls, walked the trail to the basin, and then found a hidden little unofficial path that climbed up to the top, so I naturally went up - in flip flops again.

The hidden path provided my daily dose of adventure, as it was rather precarious in some parts, and required a lot of climbing/scrambling/trusting tree roots to hold my body weight.
At the top I sat on a tree that hung over the falls which was pretty neat. And slightly terrifying.

Once finished with my waterfall exploration, I found a nice looking campsite on my Wiki Camps, set a course and ....here I am camped out on a hillside overlooking a very cool beach with some sweet cliffs in the background.
Time to watch my sea lion film!

Day 13

Day 13 was a bit of a travel day. I left my sweet beach campsite in the Catlins and headed north up to Dunedin. Dunedin's a pretty big city for New Zealand standards, and also happens to be a college town. I was only in it long enough to drive through and use a toilet, but from what I saw, it looked like a pretty cool place.
North of Dunedin I stoped in Moeraki to check out the cool, perfectly-round boulders on the beach.

Apparently they started out as pebbles or shells thousands of years ago, and got progressively coated
by limestone and other stuff, which eventually made them into the big smooth boulders they are today..? Admittedly, I read the sign pretty quickly because I wanted to beat the bus full of Chinese people to the spot before they ruined all my pictures with their corny poses and peace signs.

I just found this sign hilarious

I am currently parked up near a dock in Oamaru, another coastal town farther north, waiting for a bunch of penguins to cross the road and return to their homes for the night.

According to my app and other cheapskate websites, the penguins all go home at sunset and there's a parking lot you can sit in and see a few. That's where I am.
I could pay $40 to go sit in a seat next to their houses and watch them come in but...who has that kind of money just to watch some birds waddle across the road?
I can see them all sitting out on the pier right now...just need the little bozos to come waddle past.

Yep, so that's my day. I checked out some rocks and sat around waiting for penguins to cross the road.




Day 14

I slept at a rest stop last night. There was no sign saying "no camping" so I took full advantage.

Leaving the rest stop, I headed inland and drove through Kurow which is the hometown of my - and 99% of New Zealanders' - rugby idol, Richie McCaw. I could feel the McCawesomeness
in the air as I drove through, and I'm pretty sure the fuel I got at the gas station there will have a little something extra in it.

They haven't built the statue in tribute to Richie yet, it's still in the concept stage, so I unfortunately did not get a picture with it.
Next time.

Past Kurow I went through Omarama, which is where Richie houses and flies his glider, according to his book. Dude was the All Blacks captain for forever, AND is a glider pilot? Such a badass.

Moving past Omarama, I stopped in Twizel to buy my dad a souvenir, chatted with the shopkeeper, then bought myself a fudge square at the bakery next door.

Eventually I came to Mt. Cook, the tallest mountain in the Southern Alps, and it certainly is quite the majestic scene.

There is a path that takes you within sight of the bottom of the mountain, where you can also see the glacier below it as well.

I did not simply walk this path, I strutted my way to the top - so much so, that I heard a couple start arguing after I passed and winked at the girl.
I may not have it down in every attraction department, but when it comes to trail swagger, I've got it nailed.

At the end of the trail there's a good sized lake that flows out from the glacier, with some icebergs in it.

Pretty sweet.

The other two glaciers I visited were on the other side of this big mountain range.
The other glaciers had signs and things telling people not to go beyond the end of the path in order to get near the glaciers.
The other glaciers had articles about people that had died going beyond the barriers.
This one didn't.

Looking around the lake, I thought I could make out a possible way to climb up and around and get to the glacier. It didn't look too hard, in fact, and I slowly started piecing together how I'd get there.

In an effort to talk some sense into myself, I texted Ant about my temptation to go and touch the glacier, half hoping he'd say not to do it, and I'd turn around and go home.

He responded: Do it.

Well, I guess if you twist my arm...

To be clear, I did tell Ant what I was doing, which way I planned to do it, and when to expect my return message. So, somebody knew where I was going, and could alert the authorities if something bad happened.
(I would have done this all the previous times, but I never had cell reception. No idea why I have it out here, but I do..)

While nimbly and very gracefully navigating over and around rocks and boulders, I would occasionally hear loud cracking sounds followed by short grinding noises coming from the valley below.
I assumed all the racket was coming from the glacier, as it slowly grinds and retreats back up into the mountain.

After about an hour of scrambling my way up the rocky hillside, fighting through bushes and prickly plants, mounting each miniature ravine with relish, I looked down and saw some stacked rocks down in the ravine below me.

Son of a bitch...
There was a little path barely distinguishable next to the stacked rocks. Certainly not an official path, more of a stacked-rocks path that had been moderately well-trodden, but still a path.

On one hand, damn it, I had fought my way needlessly up a hillside that was a pain in the ass for no reason.
On another hand, I didn't feel quite as much the trailblazing pioneer I previously thought I was.
On the third hand, it was nice to see that there actually might be a way out to the glacier.

I scrambled down the damn ravine I had just fought my way over, finding every prickly bush on the hillside with my ass, and got down to the path.
It wasn't very easy to follow, and I often had to get up on a nearby rock to look and find it again, but I was making great time when I was on it.

When I was about 2/3 of the way to the glacier and making great headway on the path, I looked up and realized the sun had gone down behind the mountains.
Damn it, I forgot about sunlight. I gave myself another 20 minutes until 5:30, and then I'd have to turn back in order to get back to camp before total dark.

Before turning back I resolved to come back in the morning, weather permitting, and conquer this beast for real. Now that I knew where the path was, I'd get there in no time.
I know, anti-climactic.

On my way back I heard the loudest "CRACK!" sound yet, and realized it wasn't the glacier after all -it was the ice on the mountain opposite me. I heard it a few times on the way out, and had
my GoPro ready every time, hoping to catch an avalanche on film. A Travalanche, if you will.

Unfortunately, there were no avalanches.

The forecast for tomorrow isn't looking too good... Supposed to rain/snow.

Here's to hoping the forecast is wrong!



Day 15

It poured all night and all morning.

If heavy rains weren't a cause for landslides/avalanches, and it weren't landslide/avalanche season, I'd have thrown on a jacket and gone without a second thought.
Climbing glacier moraines would not have been ideal in the rain, but it would have been manageable.
Turns out there used to be camping huts closer to the glacier along the hillside I was climbing, but due to past avalanches and rockslides, they've had to discontinue them.

My plans for the glacier hunt will have to be postponed until next time.
Bummer.

I drove to the nearby town of Tekapo, situated on Lake Tekapo, and stopped for a muffin.
When I got back in my car, shortly after noon, with rain pounding on my windshield, I had a decision to make:

I could drive toward Christchurch, which is tomorrow's destination and where I'll be watching the All Blacks play. It's about 3 hours away.

Or

I could find a nearby campground, sit back, and hoe into the box of cider I've barely touched all trip.

...............

7 cans later...
Cider won.

Of course, as I sit by my lonesome drinking cider, two campervans pull up on either side, each bearing a happy couple inside.

I've got cider, who cares?



Day 16


ALL BLACKS!!!!!

Can't really say much more. It was incredible seeing the Haka live in a sold-out stadium in New Zealand. I still get goose bumps every time I watch the footage.
Just incredible.

Another life goal checked off the list.

I had a second ticket so I hired a tour guide to come to the game with me so I'd look cool and then she could take me out afterward.

Not a bad tour guide, aye?

Day 17

All Blacks hangover day.
But at least an All Black hangover means you get to relive your All Black experience the whole next day.

My tour guide, Emily, was kind enough to show me around the city of Christchurch, despite my being a lousy, hungover drag.
After multiple food stops, lazy visits to beaches and various other sites around the city, shoving matches, and ridiculous conversation, a surprisingly very pleasant day came to a close.

For a day spent hungover, it wasn't half bad.



Day 18

Started my day off by driving to every Burger King in town, trying to find my debit card - no luck. Wonder where that damn thing actually went.
No worries though, a 5 minute trip to the bank netted me a new card without any hassle.

Time to hit the road and get back to Nelson.
The drive back to Nelson was just over 5 hours, and I did it in one long haul - no bathroom stops. If I had another day I would have driven up through Kaikoura, but I needed to get home and pack up my life.

This was my last night in Nelson, as we'll be heading north to Wellington via ferry tomorrow morning, after which I'll start my slow journey north before flying home.

Before going home I stopped by work, said hi/bye to a few folks that were still around, grabbed my solar robot I had purchased, and went on my way.

I didn't have a ton of time, but I stopped by my old flat to say bye to Gussy and his girlfriend Suzanne, then went to Sione's house to say farewell.
Didn't manage to catch Sio at home, but said bye to his wife and kiddos - great family.

I arrived back home by around 5pm and spent the next 8 hours cleaning out my car/home for the past 2 weeks, then packed up the last year of my life into 3 bags.

Gavin, the 9 year old in the Holder family, has a regional cross country meet up in Wellington in 2 days, so Ant, myself, and Gavin's older brother, Preston, are accompanying him to his race.
After the race, the Holder family will return south to Nelson, and I will continue north to Auckland.


Hours of folding, rolling, and cramming my possessions I wished to bring home with me resulted in three heavy bags full of junk, bulging at the seams.
To those of you whom I bought gifts for, I sincerely hope they are not smashed to pieces.




Day 19

Farewell South Island, and more specificially, Nelson.

From left to right: Gavin, Mason (front), Adam (on my neck), Preston

Today consisted mostly of traveling up to Wellington via ferry, then driving to our motel. Then we went to dinner at Ant's friend's house, a fella named Loafie he had played rugby with back in Dallas.
Over dinner Loafie and his wife graciously extended the offer for me to stay at their house for a few nights.
I told them it was a very generous offer, but I would be taking off in my rental car the next day.

After dinner we went back to the motel where I eventually managed to get to sleep despite Ant's train-like snoring.






Day 20

For some context, this is my first day on the North Island. I spent my whole time in New Zealand on the South Island until this point, and I will travel around the North Island until I fly out from Auckland, which is on the northern tip of the island.

Museum Day

Today was Wednesday, and Gavin's race isn't til tomorrow, Thursday, so we had the whole day to muck around and do cool stuff - and we absolutely did.

First we went to Te Popo museum, which is a great museum in the heart of Wellington, with multiple floors and some great exhibits.

Te Popo is home to the only colossal squid in the world - it's not alive - and also has an incredible exhibit about New Zealand's exploits in World War 1 at Gallipoli.

After lunch, we headed to the real meat and potatoes - for me-, which was the Weta Workshop.
Weta Workshop is a world-famous prop/figure/design studio used by movie studios to make and build specialty items for their movies.

They made all the armor/weapons for Lord of the Rings, they made the alien weapons for District 9, different stuff for Avatar, and so forth.
Their front shop is full of awesome LOTR figurines, posters, concept art, and tons of other great stuff.
I was like a kid in a candy shop - it's a really good thing I didn't have much money, because I would have gone nuts and spent a lot.

I was surrounded by fellow nerds and able to let my full nerdy desires run rampant.

We took a tour of the workshop - no pictures allowed, UGH! - where they showed us how they make things, and showed off a lot of their previous masterpieces.

Like Sauron's armor. The whole set!.
Got to hold one of the weapons from District 9.
And a life-size, fully functional Warthog from the failed Halo movie - I touched it. Most of you don't understand my connection with the Halo Warthog, but just understand that it runs deep.
Buggy wars deep.

In the interest of not further expanding this blog and making it EVEN longer, I'll stop listing the cool stuff I saw.

Weta Workshop also made a lot of things for the Warcraft movie, based on the Warcraft video games made by Blizzard.
Due to my 7-year addiction to World of Warcrat, I am very familiar with this universe.
So when I saw a suit of armor and a sword I'd used in the game, sitting right in front of me, I started oogling like an idiot.

One of the designers sitting nearby working saw me drooling, and she asked if I'd like to hold the sword.

BOY WOULD I !

The rest of the tour had progressed to the exit, but I got to stay behind and hold the sword. She was telling me about how it was made and why there were different notches in it and.....I wasn't really listening, I was too entranced. It was SO COOL to be holding something I'd used in a video game
10 years ago.

Only after handing the sword back to the girl and heading to the exit did I notice she was kinda cute and I...chickened out and ran for the exit.

I should have asked for her number. It's not like I was sticking around long, I'd be leaving the city the next day, but taking her out for coffee and getting to listen to all the cool shit she gets to do would have been AWESOME.
I had a mini-heartbreak for the next hour.

To Travis in alternate timelines/universes: ask that girl for her number.

The rest of the day was spent dwelling on the Weta Workshop in my head, so it was really just a blur. I guess at some point we went back to the motel and went to sleep.
I dreamed of warthogs and Gimlis and swords and ...

Okay enough.


Day 21

Race Day

Today was Gavin's race. There were lots of different regions there, each fielding a few runners from the various age groups.
Gavin is in year four but competed in the year 5 race, running for the Tasman region, which is where Nelson resides.
He placed somewhere in the late 20s, which is a very positive result for a kid running against boys a year older than him.
They might have outran him in cross country, but if they tried tackling him on the rugby field...he'd have smoked them.
Seriously, Gavin's got All Black written all over him.

After the race we headed back into Wellington and watched Chasing Great, the movie about Richie McCaw, my rugby idol.
The movie was very inspirational and motivating, and gave some great insights into how the greatest All Black captain achieved his success.

After the movie it was time to get back to the ferry and go back home to Nel- nope, I'd be staying in Wellington.
I said goodbye to Ant and the boys at the ferry terminal, and walked to the car rental kiosk.

The car rental kiosk was closed. They all were. Apparently they only open up when the ferry comes in, and no more ferries were coming in for the day.
Of course, because I don't plan, I hadn't reserved a car yet, so I started calling around.
I found a car that would be available the next morning, so I told them to hold it for me, then started wondering where I'd sleep for the night.

Remember Loafie, the gentleman that Ant played rugby with in Dallas, at whose house we had dinner the other night? Remember how they offered to let me stay there a few nights if I needed..?

Loafie came in clutch, came and picked me up from the terminal and brought me back to his family's house for the night.
This is a great example of the rugby spirit: This guy had never met me until two nights prior, yet he didn't hesitate to go out of his way and help me out.
Sure, he's a nice guy, but I think this one gets chalked up to the close bond of rugby players and their renowned hospitality.



Day 22

The past three days were a bit of an intermission from my vagabonding, as I slept in a bed four nights in a row, had access to laundry facilities, and had company 24/7.
That intermission is now over, and it's time for me to get back on the road.

As of today, I have 11 days until I fly out of Auckland. Five of those days will be in a rental car as I cruise up north from Wellington to Auckland.
The remaining 6 days will be spent sleeping on teammates' couches and staying in hostels while I roam the city and see stuff.

Loaf dropped me off at the car rental this morning, I checked in, and raced off in my latest chick magnet/motorhome: a silver Toyota Yaris.
Just picture me leaning up against it on the street, wearing a leather jacket and aviators, winking at the hot babes as they walk past, as they are clearly impressed by my sweet wheels.
That's right, honey, 44 mpg AND it's got bluetooth.

I neither had a leather jacket nor aviators on, and there were no hot babes strolling past, but that's all beside the point.
The point is, this speed demon and I were ready to hit the road and make dust of the competition.

Three hours, one nap, and $25 of gas later, I arrived at Tongariro national park, home to Mount Ngaurahoe, aka Mount Doom from LOTR.
I am currently sitting in bed (passenger seat of my Yaris) in a campground next to Mount Doom, part of which I will conquer tomorrow.

For now, I must rest up in preparation of my journey.
Just pray that I have the willpower to destroy the ring...


Day 23

If you haven't danced naked on a volcano, you haven't lived.

Today I showed Mount Doom who's boss.

Mount Nguarahoe was used to portray Mount Doom in Lord of the Rings, and is a fantastic cone-shaped volcano in the middle of Tongariro park.
Visiting Mount Doom has been a priority on my bucket list ever since I even considered traveling to New Zealand - so hiking to it was a big deal.


As it is the end of winter here - technically the 2nd day of Spring I think - there is a good deal of snow covering Mount Doom and the unofficial tracks that lead to its base. So without being able to actually reach the mountain itself, the best I could do was hike a track that led to two mountain lakes, Tama Lakes, on a very nearby volcano peak. The hike was marvelous, and screamed of LOTR in just about every way possible.

At the top of my nearby volcano, I was roughly a kilometer away from the base of Mount Doom and about a third of the way up it's vertical height.

Although I had gotten as close to Mt. Doom as I could, I still felt it was staring at me with a sort of smug contempt, like it was better than me or something.
Not wanting to give the mountain the satisfaction of me not being able to conquer it directly, I did the next best thing I could think of:

On the peak of a volcano amidst the clouds, completely alone, I faced Mount Doom, struck a dominant pose, and showed that mountain who's boss.

Naked.

100% completely ass naked.

That's right.
I'm the boss.

I may not be able to climb you today, but you will still know I own you.

You know how girls always have those pictures on Facebook/Tinder with their tops off and facing away from the camera, standing on some mountaintop or looking out over some scenic view?
Well, this was my version of that. On a cloudy, wet, volcano.
I'm not a nudist or anything, the moment just struck me and I figured, "What the hell, time to live, right?"

After 5 minutes of glorious naked time on the mountain, it started lightly raining so I decided to re-robe and be on my way.
On the hike down I popped in my headphones and played the LOTR soundtrack and it was...epic. Especially in sight of Mt. Doom.

I visited the Taranaki Falls on my way back and seriously considered taking a dip in the pools, but I figured I'd derobed enough for one day.
All told, my journey through Mordor took roughly 6 hours, and it was every bit as glorious as I'd hoped.




Day 24

Today was spent sitting around in the car doing almost nothing due to the rain and my lack of motivation to do anything.
I drove to a park, did my circuit workout, then drove to a public shower, showered, and called it a day.

My goal was to go sit in the public library and enjoy free wifi and charging stations, but it was closed.
In the 45 minutes I sat parked in front of the library eating lunch and relaxing, I saw 23 other people try to get into the library.
Apparently libraries are popular on rainy days.
Some of them were so sad and dejected, as they had clearly come off a bus and had nowhere else to go. One guy walked right into the glass door because expected it to open as he approached. I cried with laughter.

So for the rest of the day, I milled around Taupo doing very little, and ended up hanging out in my car most of the day.
Yaris - I pronounce it "Yari" - and I are becoming fast friends.
After loading some Seinfeld onto my phone, I could comfortably waste the rest of the day enjoying the best thing to come out of the '90s - besides me -  in the comfort of my own vehicle/home.


In the evening Ant called to check in with me, and when I told him about my naked mountain dance he said, "Okay...kinda weird, but okay, glad you're having fun."



Day 25

The weather was a bit nicer today and allowed me to get back outside and do cool stuff.
My first activity was to visit Huka Falls, where a wide river funnels into a narrow gorge and rages through at a ferocious pace until it reaches the other side.

It's quite intense.
From the falls I walked 3km to some thermal hot pools, for which I was utterly unprepared.
Other people had swimwear, towels, and even water shoes, and there I was in my pajama pants, t-shirt, and running shoes.
I noted to always bring a pair of shorts on all future hikes.
I almost turned around to leave and hike the 3km back to the car, when the Hogs demanded they take a dip in the hot pools.
There is no denying the Hogs.

A minute later I was stripped down to my undies and sitting in a spa-sized thermal pool next to a family of four who clearly didn't want me there - bugger them, it's public property.

Five minutes in the pool was all I needed, so I climbed out and pretended not to notice everyone staring at me as I dried off with my windbreaker.

The next activity was walking through some redwoods - that's right, redwoods in New Zealand - in Rotorua.

The trek was very pleasant and just as I got back to the car it started raining - just in time!
After making my 4th sandwich for the day, I took off and headed for my next destination - Matamata.

Now I am camped on a nice little farm in Matamata that has converted a paddock into a parking lot for campervans with a toilet and sink for campers to use.



It's pretty legit. The owner showed me his '68 Chevy - cuz I told him I was American.

The only reason this farmer's little campground exists is because it is about half a mile from a very special attraction in New Zealand...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get some sleep. I'm meeting with some short people and a wizard tomorrow.

!!!!!!!!!












Day 26

HOBBITON !!!!

It was amazing. Just incredible.
There is so much to describe, but I don't know if I can do it justice.

The colors were somehow more vibrant here, the grasses greener, the shadows more alive, the skies limitless....it was surreal.
Everything is kept just as it looked in the movies.

The tour starts at the bottom of Hobbiton, where we got to stand around in the major square of the "town".
I quickly made friends with some other travelers and made deals for taking each others' pictures.
Our tour guide was a huge nerd which suited me perfectly, and I made sure I stayed at the front of the group to bug him about different details - also because if I'm at the front, I won't have 20 people in front of me blocking my pictures.
"Excuse me, could you move a bit to your-"
Stuff that, I'm at the front. Come and take it from me.

I got to stand inside one of the Hobbit Holes! (There's nothing inside, but I think I could still live there. My Yaris is about the same size).

Our guide explained that the original Hobbiton that was made for the LOTR trilogy was not made for permanent use, and weather tore it to pieces pretty quickly.
The existing structures were rebuilt with durability in mind for the Hobbit movies, with the goal of preserving them as a tourist site after the movie was done.
This is the one saving grace for me regarding the Hooooobbbbbbiittttt movies - like how I dragged out Hobbit?
The fact that they rebuilt Hobbiton and left it as a tourist attraction is the only good thing the Hobbit movies have done for me - albeit a VERY good thing.

Anyway, we visited Bag End - Bilbo/Frodo's home -, the party tree, Sam's house, the Green Dragon Inn, and all the other 40+ hobbit holes.
The best part of the tour was that everyone else there was a nerd too, so we all got to trade stories of visiting different LOTR sites and meeting actors and such.
I must say, I think I had visited the most sites out of all 30 people on the tour, so that makes me like, King Nerd.
I'll take it.

As we wound our way through the village and waited for everyone to take their pictures, the tour guide told us various stories about the site and what went into making it.

• The tree above Bag End is actually fake. It's rubber, steel, and fitted with leaves imported from Taiwan.
• All the vegetation in the gardens is real and must be maintained by gardening staff.
• The pond in the middle of Hobbiton had so many noisy frogs in it that shooting the scene where Gandalf and Bilbo blow smoke rings took 3 days to shoot. Three days for 20 seconds of film.
• The New Zealand Army was mostly reponsible for construction work, as they were easier to silence and force confidentiality upon.

Our guide also told us that he had seen three marriage proposals during his 3 month tenure of giving tours, and only 1 of them was accepted.
Poor saps.

At the end of our tour, we went to the Green Dragon Inn, the "town's" pub and got our pick of 4 different brews that are only made for Hobbiton tour guests.
One of the offerings was a cider, so naturally I took that one - it was quite good.
Myself and three other friends I made along the way sat at a table in the very authentic pub and drank deep from our "steins". Glorious.

At the end of the tour they funnel you to the gift shop and try to make you buy outrageously expensive items - and you think long and hard about doing it.
But then you realize $300 isn't worth a necklace that you'll likely lose in 6 months.

I'm not sure which gave me a stronger/bigger buzz, skydiving or visiting Hobbiton, but considering I had to fall out of the sky to reach a similar level of excitement should speak to how awesome Hobbiton was.

The pictures and video do it more justice than I can write about, so just look at them for the real deal.

After the tour I made myself some sandwiches and sat in my car grinning for a solid 30 minutes, while drooling over my pictures and deciding which ones to rub in peoples' faces first.
I contacted my LOTR friends directly and made them suffer personally. This is what they get for not coming to visit me.

When I had finished reminiscing, I went to a nearby library to watch the first presidential debates online. Waste of time.

In order to cleanse myself of the filth I had just watched, I decided to go explore the Wairere waterfalls on the edge of town.

I ran the first 4k up to the first waterfall lookout, then walked the rest of the way to the summit.
The view was stunning. At the top, the water is quite shallow and moves rather slowly, then immediately plunges straight down 200 feet, leaving a perfect view of the brilliantly green farmlands out in the distance.
It's the kind of place you'd totally make out with your girlfriend at because the nature inspired you both to lock lips.

Because it had been raining all week, the path was very muddy, and by the time I was halfway down I was covered in it - Hogs loved every second of it.

To remedy my dirtiness and further cleanse the filth of the debate from my system, I stopped and took a shower in a little waterfall off the side of the trail.
Don't worry, I filmed it. (weird, huh?)

After my cold and very refreshing rinse in the delicious mountain water, I tied my shirt around my waist and went on my way.
The cool thing about mountain water in New Zealand is that you can drink it, because everything isn't polluted and shitty here.

At the end of a very nice day, I am sitting back on the same farm I stayed at last night, very content and still buzzing about the day's activities.

Like countless others, the caretaker here has fallen for my "film location scout/writer from California" line and gave me priority for charging my electronics.
Hey, a guy's gotta charge his laptop!



Day 27

Today was a bit of a business day, as I spent a large portion of it doing laundry, writing a couple postcards, and sending emails.
I had decided to get these necessary tasks done before I put them off any longer - mostly because I was out of clean clothes.


Not to worry though, I did get out to Bridal Veil falls - doesn't Yosemite have a Bridalveil as well? - where I got to check out another super sweet waterfall and impress other trail-goers with my trail swagger.

I'm becoming a real menace to couples on these nature walks.

As I stroll past in my selfish bubble, free of worry and encumbrance, the girls smile and say hi, while the guys look up and grunt a begrudging hello, then glare at their girlfriends.
I believe I have been the cause of three arguments to date.
It's probably more a product of them living in a van with each other for weeks on end, and less my trail swagger seducing them, but whatever - still counts.

I prefer to think that my combination of running shoes, pajama pants, t-shirt, and backpack make me an irresistible specimen that is mysteriously unobtainable.

Hush, this is my trip and I get to do/think what I want.


Day 28

More rain, which has become the norm for my journey on the North Island so far. Despite the rain, I decided to get out and do something cool and adventurous to make up for yesterday's lack of adventurous-ness.
I found a track on my app and one of the comments read "Not an easy climb, muddy like hell, and not for the faint of heart. But if you like adventures, go for it!"

Sold.

As promised, it was incredibly muddy, often up to my ankle and always threatening to remove my shoe from my foot. It has been raining every day for the past 6 days out here, so I likely caught it at the worst/best time possible.

There were stretches of the path where I had to climb up by holding on to the fence nearby to get myself up/down. It was pretty steep, and coupled with days of nonstop rain and the current drizzle, I was sliding around all over the place.
After two hours of struggling uphill and picking every step carefully, I finally made it to the top and enjoyed a nice view of mist and trees.


When I got back down the hill, my shoes were soggy and full of mud, and my butt was a bit dirty from the one fall I had coming down - pretty good, really.

Luckily I was near a beach with a shower, so I went and washed my shoes and clothes and hung them up on my car like a real bum.
And it stopped raining, so my clothes could dry!
I got some odd looks during this process, but whatever, I'm not leaving muddy, wet clothing in my sweet Yaris rental car.
I'm getting good at this homeless thing.

While waiting for my clothes to dry, I made up a couple sandwiches and chilled out in the front seat listening to my Lord of the Rings audiobook.
(The siege of Gondor just started!)

My lunch was interrupted by a topless girl who waved at me and then jumped into her van and took off.
Before I knew it, 20 seconds of my audiobook had gone by without my noticing, forcing me to pause it and go back.
Bitch.

After my late lunch I drove a ways up north to the Coramander (?) and then found a place to settle in for the night.

I am finishing off my night camping at a historic railroad in a town I can't pronounce, listening to Lord of the Rings.



Day 29

I awoke to more rain - surprise - and resolved to get my workout done before I stalled and lost my nerve. After a pleasant 35 minute run in the rain, some pushups, plank, and squats, my workout was done and I could continue on my way.

Today's destination was Hot Water Beach, which sits above some shallow volcano vents and is a nice spot for digging hot pools. The trick is to arrive 1 hour on either side of low tide, or so the internet told me.
There were roughly 50 other people there when I showed up - fathers fervently struggling in vain to rebuild the walls for their childrens' pools, eager to make an impact on their one weekend of child-custody for the month, while mothers and children did their best to enjoy the semi-hot pools dad had made for them.
Others gathered around and were were busy digging and shoveling their way to nowhere, as is common with any beach-digging operations.

Once again I was content to be alone and not in charge of a family, as I had no interest in being like all those dads shoveling their way to nowhere and making no progress.
Instead, I found a warm spot, dug my feet in, and enjoyed the hot water/sand on my toesies.
Just when the heat almost reaches an unbearable temperature, the tide comes in and washes over my feet, mixing with the warmth below and creating a very pleasant sensation of simultaneous warm and cold.

It was a very enjoyable 20 minutes for my feet, and a nice 20 minutes of people watching.

Once finished, I returned to my car, hung out my wet clothes from earlier - it stopped raining again! - and ate lunch while they dried.

Afterward, I decided to make some headway toward Auckland, as I need to take care of some medical stuff before I take off in a couple days.

Two hours of scenic driving later, I'm parked up at the edge of a bay, waves lapping just below my car tire, thinking about how much I'm going to miss the vagabond lifestyle. Only two more nights of it left!





Day 30

Day 31

Today was another dreary, rainy day. I made my way back to the pharmacy to pick up the meds I ordered the day before, and then...kinda just sat around in my car watching Seinfeld, reading, and wandering through town a bit. I think the weight of leaving has finally landed on me, and it left me somewhat paralyzed.

Tomorrow I leave a place I called home for almost a year, one that I could easily have called home for good.

Kinda creepy?

I'm going home to my family and lifelong friends, but I'm certainly leaving a thing or two behind here in New Zealand.



Day 32

Departure Day.

I had breakfast at Denny's, as it was the first one I'd seen in this country, and I figured I should start reacquainting myself with America.
Afterward I stopped at a gas station, vaccumed out the car, got all my bags togther, and then ran the car through one of those little car washes.
Two hours of cleaning/tidying up later, I was ready to rock and roll.

At the airport rental drop off, I explained to the guy all the different scratches and little imperfections in the car that I didn't do.
He pretty much laughed and said they don't do anything unless you've wrecked the car.
So two hours of vaccuming and detailing and the $25 of expense of such things were all a bit of a waste.
Oh well, I had the time, so what the hell.

Checking in went fine, my bags all came in JUST under weight. My carry on was well overweight, but I've never had anyone challenge me on it before.
I even had a motorcycle helmet in the bag this time, and still no questions.
My backpack had to be shrink wrapped because of all the little bits and pieces that were in the side pockets.
I had to pay $15 to saran wrap my backpack.

Bags checked, security breezed through - almost too breezy - here I am in a bar sipping cider and waiting for my plane to board in....3 hours.


Here it is. A year later, I am heading home to attempt the transition back to "real life". What that will look like, I'm not entirely sure.
It will likely involve rugby, good times at the pub with friends, and a hug or two from Mom and Dad.

After today, New Zealand will become a fading dream, as many of the details and memories become hazy and eventually fade beyond the depths of recollection.
I'll spend the next two weeks exhausting everyone with my stories from New Zealand, constantly noting things they do differently, and things I miss.

Just like my time in the Philippines, my memories will have an ethereal quality to them, leaving me to wonder how much of it all really happened.
These blogs I've written will serve as a good a record as could be asked for, but they still won't do everything.

Without being too dramatic, suffice it to say that I will miss this place very much. If I get the opportunity to come back, I will surely take it without hesitation.




If you actually read ALL of this, I am incredibly impressed and even more flattered that you took the time to do so.

As always, thank you very much for reading. There will be one more of these recapping my past year, and then I think that will be the last.

Thanks,

Wild